For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ...

...We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.

2 Corinthians 4:6, 8-11 NIV

I H____ ME!

It seems every time I speak I am misunderstood. The more I speak the more misunderstood I am.

Here I am, though I see very little talent in myself, I thought I might, just might be decent at communicating. But I speak, and people get something completely different out of my words than what I meant, if they even listen at all!!

I love to write, reach out to people, worship, teach, take pictures, etc... but I totally suck at these things. Why can't I be talented at the things God puts on my heart? Instead of being talented at saying things wrong?

Why can't I, at the very least, communicate my thoughts clearly? What's wrong with me?

I can't stand me. I want to just be silent...

Transfer

I am transferring locations for work in less than a week. I know I am going to be sad and miss people. I'm not fond of change or saying goodbye to people, but I know this is the right thing.

Still, I am nervous and hoping everything works out good, so please pray for this situation if you read this.

Jesus

Longing for something real and true,
Needing You

Not misinterpretation of your wise words,
You

Not over-analysis of your beautiful simplicity,
You

Not singing,
Praise

Not forced acceptance of others',
Love

Not refuge behind walls,
Safety in your arms

Longing for something real and true,
Longing for you.

Earth Calling Shannon; Come In Shannon...

Many times I feel like an alien.

Like the world is moving on and on, doing these things day after day and they get it. But I just don't get it.

I want to, but I don't.

I guess I really should rejoice alot of the times that I don't get it, but I start to feel alone...out of place.

Like the joke's on me.

Like the nerd trying to hang-out with the popular kids.

My Computer...

If you have e-mailed me and I haven't answered or if you are thinking that e-mail would be a good way to contact me right now...think again. My stupid e-mail won't allow me to send messages so if you want to communicate with me...call, message or even comment. Hopefully I can figure this out soon.

Priority

I've been thinking lately about how life is this huge set of priorities and the way you prioritize things has such huge bearing on who you are.

If work is your first priority, then, yes, you will be a "successful" businessman, but at what cost?

Likewise, if you spend all of your time and energy at home, what other things could you be doing? You will be able to talk about what a perfect homemaker you are, but who will you talk to?

My son has this Sims game and, when you make a new character, you get a certain amount of "points" and you can a lot your own combination to different traits of the character. (Like kindness, tidiness, outgoingness, etc...) Anyways, it's like we all have a certain amount of time and energy and we choose where to allot it and how much to allow for each category...work, kids, house, husband, animals, hobbies, social, ministries, God.

It's weird cuz people seem to think that if they are really good at something that they have just worked harder and that may not necessarily be true.

Your house is spotless, so you ae just so good, right? And...how much true bonding time have you spent with your husband and kids? What about reading the Bible? What about with God?

You got your promotion and are now making a bunch of money, but, again, ask yourself the above questions?

And have you had a chance to hear quiet and breathe air and see the beauty that God created?

I guess it's about finding the right combination of priorities.

Hopefully God is alloted the most "points" in your life. After all, you can build a large, extravagant house, but if it's not built on a good foundation, it will eventually start to sink and fall apart.

The rest of the "points" depend on you...

Really Deep Thoughts

Well, here I am...writing...in my blog. La, la, la.

After finally getting my cell phone working again, my computer got completely screwed up. I think it got a virus that corrupted my virus software.

Hmmm...that's ironic, huh?

So my friend is working on it and I am using my parents' computer which has an amazingly fast connection compared to mine.

Last week, my Grandma died...unexpectedly. I'm so sad and angry. I just keep trying to not think about it, so I can get through my days that already seemed difficult enough.

But then I remember being in Kansas...sleeping upstairs and waking to the lovely smell of coffee and voices talking and my Grandma's unique and lovely voice and laughter filling the air. And...the warmth of her house and all of us together...and knowing that I could leave all of my problems behind in Arizona and just be happy. I remember Grandma talking to me...she always knew what to say to help me understand and feel better...to feel like someone was on my side...even when I felt alone. And her letters and e-mails...always thinking of me and my family...checking on us...loving us.

I miss her so much.

I just think about how maybe I could have written to her more or called more...how maybe we could have gotten our act together and saved enough money to take work off and visit. I don't remember if she saw the baby. I am so angry...with myself...and this situation.

Why are we born to die? Seems more sensible that we would just stay unborn and be with God right away.

What is it about life that He wants us to know...to learn? It's so sad and confusing, sometimes. I guess we are supposed to learn to know Him by finding Him amidst the destruction. And learn to truly love Him and worship Him.

I think of my children and what they mean to me and how I am His child. And to think that He probably sees us with that unmoving kind of love, like I have for my children, only a million times bigger.


After all, life is full of choices, good and bad. And would we truly love Him, or anyone, if we didn't have a choice?